10 Things I Learned About Teaching

Originally, I was going to list the top ten things I learned not to do in the composition classroom for this post. But I was being a bit down on myself that day, and I realized I learned some things that work extremely well. So, I decided to present to y'all a list of things I learned--both good and bad--and hopefully some of you experienced teachers will offer me advice. If there's one thing I can't seem to get enough of, it's teacher advice. So here goes, in no particular order.

10. Never let students revise every paper. Doing so only ensures that the teacher is always grading and the students are always turning in shitty first drafts.

9. Be OCD about your course policies and make sure you list EVERY CONCEIVABLE THING in your syllabus. I failed to list that failure to turn in one major assignment for the course would result in a no credit grade for the class and wound up doing some fancy footwork when students were surprised they couldn't pass having not even bothered doing one of the major papers.

8. Don't use blogs unless you are dedicated to keeping up with reading and commenting on them. Students get offended when you don't comment on all their posts.

7. Ignorance is often bliss. Sometimes, it's better to pretend you didn't hear what the frat boy in the back of the room said about you to his buddy. Usually, you don't want to know the reason little Johnny came to class with a black eye and busted lip.

6. Never, EVER check your comments on ratemyprofessor.com. They will only give you a misguided view of how you're performing in the classroom.

5. Make a grading rubric, share it with the class, and always remind them to check it before turning in their papers. I swear if I hear one more gripe about my "inconsistent grading" I'm going to explode.

4. Let students know you care about their ideas. The best assignment I gave this semester was a group research project where students got together and worked on developing a research question, then researching that question and presenting it to the class. They all really enjoyed working with like-minded individuals researching stuff that didn't seem like school work, like the BCS, internet pornography, and online gaming.

3. Be critical, but be positive. Sometimes I found myself writing more scathing comments on student papers than I should have. Thank God I grade in pencil. Com 1 students need guidance and nurturing more so than any other student, I think.

2. Never accept/review emailed drafts. Always have students come to your office hours with hard copies or you'll find yourself, much like I did, reading the same student's paper 10 times before you actually *grade* it.

1. Know that YOU control the classroom. You're not their friend; you're their mentor and, in Comp 1, their homeroom mom, to a certain extent. It's okay to love them, but you still must maintain an authoritative position in the classroom. (Sometimes I wasn't so good at that one...)


It was an okay semester, y'all. I loved my kids. Each and every one of them, even the frat boy in the back who cursed me under his breath. I really love teaching, and I want to do it for a long, long time. It gets in your blood, doesn't it?

How were your teaching semesters?

Thank God that's over

I survived my first teaching semester, y'all. Barely did it, but I'm here, alive and still kicking. Just not as hard. In the days since my last class's final on Wednesday I was a hot mess trying to finish all the projects up for the courses I was taking and make appearances at all the English department holiday brouhaha I felt compelled to attend. I burned my apple crisp for the potluck, drank too much at the creative writing holiday party, and had a panic attack in the wee hours of Friday morning. Don't worry, though; I went to the doctor on campus, who referred me to a psychiatrist, and now I'm properly medicated for depression and anxiety. Like every other person in America. But I feel a lot calmer now, probably because the semester is over, and I like feeling calm.

I took the weekend really easy, only venturing out on Friday to have dinner with Eric, then a trip to the dog park for an hour on Saturday and a movie last night. Eric and I saw Milk, which I thought was phenomenally done, but I think he was a bit perturbed by the gratuitous man-on-man smooching. It's an important film, I think, because it shows the history of the gay community's fight for rights in this country, and this is an important history for gay people (and everyone else) to know about. Because chances are they don't.

I'm plowing through Twilight, and though Edward Cullen makes me tingle in all the right places, I think the book would be much better if it had been more scrupulously edited. Honestly, I'm tired of the first person narrator constantly describing her vampire-lover as "breathtakingly beautiful," "godlike," and "perfectly statuesque." Too cliche, Stephanie Meyer. Let's liven the language up, even if you are writing about the living dead.

I'm busy this week saying goodbye to friends for the few weeks of Xmas break (and I'm especially sad to see at least one of them go), gearing up for the Young Writers' Institute (which I'm co-chairing this year--Steph, Monda, I'm making you proud!), and working on the syllabus for the English 102 course I designed and will be teaching next semester: Inquiry into Friendship. I also need to clean my apartment, finish my Xmas shopping, wrap presents, and pack. Headed home for the holidays on Saturday the 20th.

I'm looking forward to being home for 10 days or so more than I thought I would. I'm going to use the time to write a poem a day, watch lots of HGTV, and avoid interacting with people for a while (except, of course, for the ones I can't live without: Mom, Dad, Eric, Virignia). I'm not mad at anyone, mind you. I love you all. I just had a tiring semester jumping through social hoops and directing the department's party life. I love the job, but I need a break, some time to be a basket case on my own terms.

And I don't intend on shaving at all over the the winter break.

So, things are looking up for me. I have plans. I have friends. I have dreams. I just thank God this semester's over.

Next post: "10 Things I Learned About What NOT To Do In The Composition Classroom."