Christmas as an Adult

I guess this could be my first adult Christmas. I say this because this year's holiday feels less like Christmas than ever before. No magic. No whimsy. Just stress and booze and crotchety old bitties to deal with. Christmas Spirit has left the building.

I was talking to my friend Will about this phenomenon last night at his family's Christmas party. He told me he feels the same way about Christmas, that when one becomes an adult, he must learn to find the meaning of Christmas in a different way. It stops being about presents and Santa and magic and wonder. To be quite honest, Christmas is a fucking nightmare most of the time, scrambling to get the right gift, say the right thing so as not to piss off Uncle Winky who was already 3 sheets to the wind before dinner, and hoping to God you can still fit in you svelte new coat after days of feasting on chess squares and egg nog. But I think Will is on to something. He always has been a sharp boy. Christmas is about something else now; it's about getting back in touch with friends and family.

Night before last, I went to Christmas dinner at my best friend from high school Robin's house. We had lamb and corn salad (not very traditional Southern fair) and bottles and bottles of Merlot. Now, I've been knowing Robin for years and I've been going over to her house since I was probably 15, so I know her family well. Her mom, Bonny, is a wonderful woman, but a bit over-bearing, a bit detached. Until she gets some red wine in her. Bonny was all over me hugging me, telling me she loved me, that I'm part of the family, and that she wants me to have my wedding reception in her backyard, no matter if I marry a boy or a girl. It was funny, really, and it was also heart warming. This is what I love about the South: people show their love in the strangest of ways. My daddy will haul wood for the old woman down the road. My momma will sit with old people in the hospital as they die, no matter how distantly related. My best friend's mom will decorate her arbor with roses and twinkle lights so I can say "I do" under it. It's wonderful.

Last night at Will's parent's party, I had a good, long discussion with his mom, Sue, about politics. She told me she was on the planning commission for 11 years (there's a story right there!) and in her time she saw how corrupt those politicians were. She told me they all took bribes under the table. When back in 1994 some Canadian company was going to build a medical waste disposal facility in the soybean field beside Walls and Sacred Heart Elementary schools, she got a permit to protest, and marched from Walls all the way to the courthouse in Hernando. The Canadian company pulled out and Sue Freiman was a hero, at least until the next election.

I love knowing that story. I wouldn't have been privy to that information as a teenager. But there sat Sue and I by the fire, me with my beer, her with her glass of Preseco, talking about the ways of the world. And I really enjoyed it.

So maybe that's what Christmas as an adult is all about.